Trader Stuff

Amazing new discovery!

(Credits to CV, http://epiktetos13.blogspot.com/2006/10/amazing-new-discovery.html)

Amazing new discovery

Amazing new discovery by a noted trading guru.

Yes, friend, Mr. Ponzi Barnum, who turned his $128.17 capital investment into $2 Billion dollars in just a few short weeks, has decided to share his automated trading system with the rest of humanity out of the pure goodness of his heart. His unique secret indicator, rollem&returnem (R&R), can lead you quickly to the life of riches and excess that, as a special person we’ve selected, you clearly deserve.

In fact, in just three short months, you too can own the ENTIRE UNIVERSE. And we can prove it!

Our back tested and optimized results for the NYSE for the week of July 14, 2003, have been audited and certified by our wholly owned subsidiary, Auditors-R-Us, to provide a 92,000% PROFIT – in just that ONE WEEK.

You can achieve the same profits with our system in that very same week!

Hard to believe?

We can prove it with our charts and statistics! Hey, with real math and real graphics in color even! You can examine our results during that same time period – we absolutely guarantee the accuracy of those results. Phone 888-RIPUSOFF and we will rush our information packet, COD, for just $29.95. All the details are included – charts, statistics, equity curves, everything excepting the details about this secret system itself, of course.

It gets even better!

After your purchase and check clear, we will help you set up your trading account with one of our approved, authorized brokers who will trade our system for you. Yes, friend, we have already trained fully licensed brokers to trade our system for you!

Best of all, to assure your results, these specially trained, very friendly, referring brokers will time synchronize your account with ours, so that every trade that WE make, you also make, shortly thereafter. What could be better and more honest than that? You can put your money where ours is! Be assured that we take a very close and personal interest in every client's trading account!

You don’t even have to do the trading work! No trading experience required! No expensive seminars to take! No complicated things to learn! No books to read! No effort at all!

Let your money work for YOU this time! Why should you have to work for your money?

Just send us your check for $7,000 and we’ll take care of the rest. As soon as your check clears our off-shore bank, we will put one of our affiliated brokerages in touch with you, to handle all the details to start your trading account with a minimum of fuss and bother. And we will FedEx the most recent version of our continuously optimized system to your doorstep, ready for easy installation on your home PC.

So you can live the live of leisure that you obviously deserve, while we do all of the work for you.

Yes, friend, that is correct. You can own the ENTIRE UNIVERSE within just three short months. And we’ll do all the work for you. And in the highly unlikely event that anything goes wrong, you can blame us, not yourself! Avoid all that emotional turmoil that trading yourself causes you! Let us do it for you! Send us all your capital, sit back and forgetaboutit!

Prefer to trade your own account and suffer all that emotional damage? No problem! We include the same special time synchronization in every one of our trading systems! Free! And we monitor your trades and unobtrusively email immediately the details of each trade to our trade analysis computers so that we can offer you better support and advice in case you have questions some day.

We may even help you by taking the opposite side of your trades, so that you can be sure of getting really good and fast fills!

What a deal! With GREAT free support! Still better, if you act now, we will throw in a free year of continuous updates to this remarkable trading system, so that it continues to have provably phenomenal results as the weeks roll past! Think of it!

Free updates for a year! Making this an even more optimized, better system!

Amaze and astound your friends! Show them the money our system could have made for them! If only they had been as smart as you were, to get in early enough on this once in a lifetime opportunity! (Of course, it is never too late for them to join in on the fun!)

Incredible!

But still not good enough for you?

OK then. As part of this special private offering, to make this the absolute best offer of your entire life, the brilliant Mr. Barnum, for a very short time only, has agreed to GIVE you a 10% discount off list price of his next spectacular trading system, trOJanhorse, one he is developing right now that promises a killing in profits for us, proven by back testing with many years of carefully selected market data!

Act now! Better hurry! Don't even think about it! This offer is limited to a few select individuals such as yourself, on a first come, first serve basis.

Barnum, Ponzi and Associates,
c/o general delivery
Cayman Islands.


References and testimonials from people no one has ever heard of before or since, available upon written notarized request and our usual $29.95 COD fee.

posted by VitalStatistix @ 7:11 PM